What if I fail?

One of the scariest parts of the unknown is the fear of failure. We don’t like the things it pulls up in ourselves. We are scared of the way failing changes things. We love control.

Failing isn’t a bad thing.

Failing is just a chance to learn.

Last week I practiced for my lifeguarding class coming up. My trial run went well, but not as well as I had hoped. I was stressing out.

Reality of my circumstances were that if I didn’t pass, I would either need to retake it, which would require more money and time, or that my plans would no longer work. Neither of those sounded ideal to me.

But this is the opportunity: neither of those had to be my focus.

I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t pass, but I do know the world wouldn’t have ended.

I’ve failed at different things before.

And the outcome has been room for better.

Whatever hasn’t worked out, whatever hasn’t been the right fit, whatever I had to let go of, has left my life so there was room for even better.

Relationships that didn’t work out made way for ones that are better than I could have imagined.

Jobs that didn’t work out made way for ones that restored my passion.

Things I struggled with made way for growth in who I am.

I most definitely didn’t feel this way when I was younger. I didn’t even feel this way last year. But watching what God has done in my life over this past year has been mind-blowing to realize just how much better the things he cleared away worked out. I still start to get anxious when I’m watching something I had plans for start to slip outside my grasp. I still feel nervous at the thought of failing at something.

But it takes bravery to take a breath and let go of those fears. It takes bravery to decide that even when things fall apart there is an opportunity you don’t want to miss. It takes bravery to recognize that what you can’t see happening right now is better than what would have happened.

Sometimes those pieces don’t click until years later.

Sometimes they click in a few months.

There isn’t a timeline your life is supposed to be on that is getting messed up by what you’re learning right now. Just because you don’t see the good that has come doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

You never really fail if you keep learning.