Value

You don’t end up in a bad relationship if you have a healthy sense of your own worth.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, and I am not trying to add hurt on. I’m saying this as someone who has BEEN there. More than once.

If you are not comfortable being by yourself - not just single, but in the time you spend alone without friends or anyone, you will be more susceptible to unhealthy relationships.

If you long for a healthy relationship, you need to be content in exactly who you are. You cannot look for a relationship to change you or satisfy you. No significant other will fix your life. You don’t become “significant” by gaining one.

You will wrestle through some of these things at some point in your life - if you don’t face them though they will catch up to you. Getting into a relationship will not make your problems disappear.

The performance that you put on for the world is not a cure for the insecurity within. I have been a master of bravado. I have fooled many people around me into thinking I was more okay than what was actually happening. Underneath I was desperate to be rescued from my own pain, and that desire set me up perfectly to fall into relationships that only added further trauma.

Now after that reality check, here is my encouragement: you are stronger than you think.

You are not doomed to travel down that path. You can make the hard choices. You can choose to be a different version of yourself - not just to act like it, but to truly make new decisions.

No one else is capable of making you worth something - you have to choose for yourself that you are.

That choice becomes a lot clearer when you realize the inherent worth that you were created with. When you learn that you were worth enough to be died for it inevitably will shift your own self-image - not out of a place of ego, but out of a place of humility and security.

You are worth more than the treatment you are allowing.

You are precious.

You are loved.