My experience, Your Life
One of the hardest things I’ve wrestled with is when to know what to say to others. Ultimately, it’s their life and their choices. At the same time, when you have lived certain experiences there is a desire to share that with others who you feel could benefit from what you have been through. How do you discern what times to speak and what times to hold back?
Personally I’ve struggled knowing that in my own life I didn’t listen when others tried to warn me. I understand where I was coming from - my own traumatic experiences that were flared by what I was experiencing, the pain I was in the midst of, but ultimately it didn’t “do” anything at the time. I don’t look back on that experience with regret - would I do it that way again? No. But I am keenly aware that I would not be the person I am today had I not walked through that season.
Knowing that I had no desire to hear what I heard, and nothing “changed” from it, I wrestle now with when I should share from my own experience.
Do I reach out to warn the new girl what I’ve been through?
Do I caution my friend the dangers of her choices?
What is the balance between being faithful to God in using my own story and sitting back and trusting God?
I’m writing this post from a position where I very much so don’t have the answers. I’ve gone down both roads in different situations and I still don’t feel like there is a universal clarity for what to do when.
I think that’s the tricky thing with wisdom. Wisdom looks different in different situations. The same people, the same circumstances, what to do in one season of life and what to do in another aren’t always the same.
While I may not have an answer for what to do, I do know these truths.
You aren’t responsible to prevent someone else from going through what you did.
Your story is not somehow less significant because you didn’t tell someone else.
You cannot live if you are constantly trapped by your past.
Whatever you decide, God holds the outcome of that choice.
Even if you view their circumstances as “too far gone”, God is capable of working miracles you can’t imagine.
The pain you went through had purpose. God has a purpose for their going through it too.
You are only ever able to control your choices.
There are decisions with clearcut right and wrongs, and then there are decisions where God gives you room to pick which path you want to go down. He already knows the outcome.
Sometimes maturity is silence. Speaking out of a place of indignation can be foolish. Staying quiet can sometimes be the graceful choice.
You are constantly choosing your character. You’re allowed to feel all that you are feeling - but the choices you make are who you are.
