Everything Changes

I’m sitting on my couch as I write this, in my first ever apartment, realizing that in 2 weeks the version of life that I have come to know this year will permanently change.

There are so many moving pieces in my life that are changing and it’s bittersweet to watch it all unfold. I want to be excited for what is coming but I also want to soak up the last moments of this.

This stage of life has changed so much for me. It wasn’t until this version of myself that I even began to be okay with change. When I was younger, I genuinely viewed change as an inherent loss.

I have so many incredible experiences on the horizon of my life, and at the same time I realize I will never return to this season of life. I will never again be in my early 20s living with my current roommate, dreaming about the future. I moved into this apartment with so much fear of the world and insecurity in myself, and a little over a year later I am such a different version of myself.

There is still so much the future holds that is unknown to me. Even within the known components, we never know what will come with them. There is no syllabus for what the next season will bring.

Change doesn’t have to be frightening when you know your constant.

As many times as my world has changed, God hasn’t. Every version of me that has existed has been known and loved by the exact same God. He does not have better or worse versions of himself. He doesn’t waver. He is eternally unchanging, because there is no way to improve beyond perfect.

Knowing that God never changes allows me to find peace when everything else does. It gives me the opportunity to trust that what He has in store for me is greater than anything I could have imagined. Not necessarily pain-free, but worthwhile in every way. There is no unknown in my future that God isn’t prepared for. There is nothing coming my way that isn’t deliberately designed to shape me more into the woman He created me to be.

I have nothing to fear with the changes that come when I know who the changes come from.