Free to Act

Actions have consequences.

You are simultaneously not just one choice you made and also made up of all the choices you do. Every moment of every day is you choosing who you want to be.

The choices you make will have direct consequences - that is how cause and effect work. I see people who are surprised by the outcome of their decisions. I was that person myself before. Believing that you can make certain decisions and not experience consequences is incredibly foolish and naive.

I have disliked the fallout of some of my own choices in the past. I have been so consumed with pursuing my own selfishness that when I am faced with the impact it has had on others I have felt more offended over the fact that I couldn’t just do what I wanted without it having a cost. I think the hardest time for us to swallow the effects of the decisions we have made are when we are consumed with our own self-righteousness and entitlement to what we want.

I am careful when I evaluate the words I write. Why? I want to speak truth. I want to use my voice for good. I want to make an impact. And I also recognize that while truth may be black and white, people often aren't. When do you say truth with strength and when do you open gentle arms to someone struggling? How can you consider both when posting something onto the internet?

I never want something I have posted to become a barrier to a real-life interaction with someone. I am also struggling with when to speak more boldly on things that I think. I know by now in life that both choices create their own branches of my life.

When you are faced with a consequence to an action that you are not proud of our natural inclination is to become trapped in shame. That shame might push us to run from responsibility and continue to make self-centered choices, or that shame might push us to spiral in the other direction…which is still a continuation of self-centered choices. Shame is a sister of pride - an over emphasis of self played out in a different dress.

It takes great courage and humility to stop listening to shame. It is telling yourself that this cannot continue to be about you, and stepping up to own up to your choices. It is one of the most powerful things you can ever do - to refuse to continue to be consumed with your own ego.

I personally believe there is no cure to shame other than grace - grace that is clearly the entire point to the Christian faith. Grace is why I believe what I believe. Yes, I can give logical and historical supports, but there is nothing in this world more humbling than to realize that while in the depths of self-conceit, while actively causing harm to others, while spitting in the face of God, He pursued you. Not out of anything you deserve, but because of His own nature. Because He is so completely good, that even when I was chasing the most empty and wicked choices, He still chased me. He did not force me to choose Him, but He pursued me with love that I could never earn and grace that I did not deserve.

That is the sole choice in my life that I will stand on with all else I do.